CHAOS vs. COMPLIANCE: The art (and science) of Consistency in the face of Confusion

(WOW! TWO blog entries in one night! That's because I haven't posted one in awhile so -making up for that maybe?...A spin-off of thinking, which was inspired by the earlier post actually....)

To avoid sounding negative, I will preface this by saying there are many qualities in myself that I do like. One that I do not like, and continue to work on however, is ALL-OR-NOTHING thinking. When I'm onto something good I dive in head-first and give it my all, and although that sounds like a good thing, in fact it can lead to burn-out.

In running a half-marathon for example, if one were to go all-out at the beginning, there's a fair chance of not making it to the finish-line. One must conserve energy and spread it out over distance in order to endure to the fiinsh without hitting a wall, or "bonking."

From THE SCIENCE BEHIND BONKING:
 http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-242-301--6263-0,00.html

"Consider the muscle-glycogen bonk, where the brain works fine but the legs up and quit. Then there's the blood-glucose bonk, where the legs work fine but the brain up and quits. Let's not forget the everything bonk, a sorry stewpot of dehydration, training errors, gastric problems, and nutrition gaffes.

And then there's the little-purple-men bonk. "After about 20-K, I started to see little purple men running up and down the sides of these cliffs," says Mark Tarnopolsky, M.D., who wears hats as both a leading sports nutrition researcher and an endurance athlete. "I knew it was an hallucination, but I stopped in the middle of the race to look at them anyway," he says. "It was kind of crazy."

If you have run a distance race, chances are you have already become an aficionado of the bonk. You remember how your form held until you hit mile 18 and your feet turned into scuba fins. How your motivation held until you faced that last hill and became preoccupied with the idea of lying down on the pavement. Or, if you bonked thoroughly enough, how you began to see beings that belong in Dr. Seuss. And you thought sports nutrition was dull."


Well my pattern is that I tend to start hard, burning bright like a comet, then I burn out equally as fast. Why is it I can't seem to start steady, maintain momentum, and conserve and disperse energy over the long-haul? When it comes to my projects and goals, especially the ones regarding getting my health and fitness in order (the ones fraught with emotional baggage), I keep bonking?


I did it once...I made it to the finish-line without bonking...I lost 65 pounds. But then I regained some of that, a lot of it, in fact. (And I've yo-yo-ed back and forth several times since). Why is it that so many people who achieve their fitness/weight-loss goals end up doing that? I need to get to the bottom of my reasons, so that this time all the work has permanent results. Every time I gain it becomes harder and harder to lose it again.


It seems that I need all my ducks lined up just-so. I need the perfect alignment of emotional, mental, and physical factors in order to achieve success. Up until now I was trying to force it-I was mentally and emotionally ready but not physically, and was struggling to convince myself. Lack of willpower? Lack of focus? Just an excuse? No matter what the label for it is, it's an obstacle that must be overcome in order to achieve success. I wasn't "ready" because one of the components was missing.

I have consistently been able to launch a program in the midst of chaos (and sometimes chaos is a great instigator of project-launches), but in chaos I have difficulty in sustaining the progress of the project, because I struggle to keep all those balls in the air. I tend to need strict focus. Any deviation from the program can set me off-course to the point of no return. As much as it is a good idea to "keep your eye on the prize," I'm starting to think that if I'm looking that far ahead, I become overwhelmed and drop a ball (or two).


There has been a lot of chaos in my life lately that has pulled my attention away from my goals. Let me re-state that....that I have chosen to allow to pull my attention away from my goals. When I feel like my environment and my circumstances are beyond my control, I become distracted (and I inappropriately cope in such a way as to take me further from my goals). The chaos has become my distraction and my scapegoat for being inconsistent and unsuccessful. Success will come from learning how to remain focused amidst the chaos, while simultaneously reducing it.

I have come to the conclusion that I need to have long-term goals, but broken down into daily goals so I can focus on "one day at a time." It's not so overwhelming to just have to get through today. This big picture seems overwhelming and breeds negative thoughts such as "Why work so hard when it's an impossible goal?" Well one pound is not an impossible goal. I'll just keep doing that over and over. Thirty times. A whole bunch of "todays" will eventually get me to where I need to go. 

When things have "come up" I have made bad choices.. I kept starting over tomorrow, when "today" went off the rails. That's not how to make progress...quite the contrary. I now know that I thrive on a consistent schedule (which I haven't been keeping), that is predictable, due to some health issues and memory problems which I am choosing now to embrace as challenges not obstacles. I am choosing to appreciate how they will provide me with opportunities to employ coping strategies that will not only enhance this journey, but make it permanent.


I require a map or GPS to keep me on the right path. Bring in the science (and the math). My GPS is an app for my iPhone called LoseIt (which works in conjunction with my fitbit). My phone is always with me, and with it I can log all my nutrition (as easy as scanning a bar-code on the food package!) and exercise. No excuses-it's always with me. Seeing those numbers keeps me on the path. Back when I successfully lost 65 lbs I was tracking consistently. When I stopped tracking, I gained. Tracking is a pain, and not tracking is a way to stay in denial. If we deny our bad choices, we allow ourselves not to be accountable for them. That's why I ended up back at it. Tracking is so much easier with the science of electronics that does the math for me! (Everyone knows how I feel about math). ;-) The ease of gadgetry frees up my time to be "out there" in the world getting my exercise and eating properly.


It's time to set myself up for success. I feel like I am at last in a place where my mental, emotional, and physical components are all aligned to work together. I'm no longer just trying to convince myself to do it...and looking at it as a "chore." I'm taking it steady out of the gate so I'll have enough stamina to get to the finish-line, but just focusing on running to the next km marker. Consistency....One day at a time...